Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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