she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
