Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
