Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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