i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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