I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
