have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
