last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
