White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
