I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
