Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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