Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
