I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
