Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize