I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize