you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
