we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
