I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
