Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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