meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
