NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
