the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
