i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
