all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
