bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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