Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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