so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
