just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize