At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my poor anus
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize