i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
