it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
