Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
