a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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