You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's official drugs can't kill me
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
