So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
