On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
