Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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