i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
