I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize