Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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