So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
