You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize