Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
