Little spoons don't ask big questions
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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