she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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