I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
