Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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