Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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