like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
