Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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