I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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