Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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