mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
