it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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