just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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