I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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