I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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