Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
