He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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