D3 body, D1 cock
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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