Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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