I wish I only lived at night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
