Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
