the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize