last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
