yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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