Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
