Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
