So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
