Where is the hickey?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
