He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
