i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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