I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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