the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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