Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
